Double Standards Will Slowly Destroy Any Relationship

One of the quickest ways to damage a relationship is through double standards.

It's expecting your partner to live by rules that you refuse to follow yourself.

You want honesty.

But you lie.

You want loyalty.

But you entertain other people.

You want respect.

But you constantly disrespect your partner.

You want patience.

But you have none to give.

Healthy relationships cannot survive when only one person is expected to do the work.

Don't Demand What You Refuse to Give

It's perfectly okay to have expectations.

Every healthy relationship should.

The problem begins when those expectations only apply to one person.

If you're allowed to make mistakes, your partner should be allowed the same grace.

If you expect them to communicate, you should communicate too.

If you expect loyalty, be loyal.

If you expect respect, be respectful.

The standard you set for someone else should first be visible in your own life.

Stop Keeping Score

Relationships aren't competitions.

They're partnerships.

The goal isn't to prove who is right.

The goal is to build something that lasts.

When every disagreement becomes,

"But you did this..."

"What about when you..."

Nobody wins.

Instead of keeping score, start taking responsibility.

Ask yourself,

"What could I have done better?"

That question changes relationships.

Accountability Is Attractive

One of the most attractive qualities in any person is accountability.

Not perfection.

Accountability.

The ability to say,

"I was wrong."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll do better."

Those words build trust.

Excuses slowly destroy it.

The Rules Should Apply to Both People

Imagine playing a game where your opponent changes the rules every time they're about to lose.

You'd eventually stop playing.

That's exactly how double standards feel.

One person gets freedom.

The other gets restrictions.

One person's mistakes are forgiven.

The other person's mistakes are remembered forever.

That isn't love.

That's imbalance.

Relationships Flourish Through Fairness

No one expects perfection.

But everyone deserves fairness.

Hold yourself to the same standard you're asking your partner to live by.

If you're unwilling to do that, perhaps the standard isn't fair in the first place.

The healthiest relationships aren't built by one person carrying all the responsibility.

They're built by two people who practice the same respect, the same honesty, and the same accountability.

Word for the Wise

Before asking someone to become the partner you want, become the partner you're asking for. Double standards divide relationships, but fairness gives them room to grow.

— Meme Wilder