Should Andy Have Helped His Brother-in-Law?

Andy and Mirabel have been married for five years. Andy loves his wife deeply, but there is one part of their marriage that has always been difficult: Mirabel's family.

In particular, her younger brother, George.

George has been unemployed for quite some time. He has developed a reputation for being lazy, arrogant, unreliable, and disrespectful. He has had several opportunities to get his life together, but according to Andy, George has repeatedly failed to take responsibility for himself.

Andy has tried to stay out of the situation. He loves Mirabel, but he does not believe that loving his wife means he has to approve of everything her family does.

Then an opening came up at Andy's workplace for a cleaner/janitorial position.

One of Andy's colleagues mentioned that the company was looking for someone. Andy immediately thought of George.

He knew the job would not make George wealthy, but it was honest work and could have given him an opportunity to get back on his feet.

Andy also knew George's reputation.

He knew how George behaved. He knew about his history of being unreliable. He knew that if George was hired and caused problems, people at work would eventually connect George to him.

So Andy made a decision.

He did not tell George about the opening.

He did not recommend him.

He did not interfere with the hiring process.

Eventually, someone else was hired for the position.

Weeks later, Mirabel somehow discovered that there had been an opening at Andy's company and that her husband had known about it.

She was hurt.

To Mirabel, this was not simply about a job.

She felt Andy had an opportunity to help her brother and deliberately chose not to.

She told him:

"If this were your family, you would have helped. I would never have watched someone in your family struggle when I had the opportunity to help."

Andy disagreed.

He told her:

"I love you. That does not mean I can put my reputation and everything I have worked for at risk for someone I know is irresponsible."

He explained that he had spent more than fifteen years building his career and reputation. He was not willing to recommend someone he did not trust simply because that person happened to be his wife's brother.

Mirabel felt Andy was putting his career before her family.

Andy felt Mirabel was asking him to take responsibility for a grown man who had repeatedly refused to take responsibility for himself.

Neither of them could agree.

So now the question is:

Was Andy wrong for not telling George about the opportunity, or was he right to protect his professional reputation and maintain a boundary between his marriage and his workplace?